Self-confidence and self-esteem are complex and in many ways inter-dependent. For example if you have low self-esteem, you might not like yourself so think that others couldn't possible like you. Having these thoughts and feelings can pull you back from relationships, general life experiences and employment opportunities for example. Feelings of pleasure and happiness can feel undeserved so are avoided or sabotaged. You might feel, ‘I don't deserve to be happy’; ‘I’m not good enough’.

Low self-esteem stops people making large and small decisions in case it does not work out. Starting a new relationship, making a financial decision or applying for a job are all examples of decision making people with low self-esteem often avoid. Procrastinating until the opportunity or choice has past, is a behaviour you may recognise if you feel your confidence or self-esteem is low.

Experiences growing up, often if key people are critical, judged harshly and ignore or play down accomplishments sends messages of low worth. Significant life events can also affect self-confidence and self-esteem such as divorce or bereavement. Counselling is an effective way of developing confidence and self–esteem.